When I moved abroad from Malta to Hungary, I knew I would face challenges: learning the Hungarian language, adjusting to cultural differences, and navigating local bureaucracy. But the hardest hurdle was something I didn’t fully anticipate: coping with expat loneliness.
Working from home for my former company in Malta means most of my days are spent indoors without face-to-face social interaction. Loneliness as a foreigner is real, deeply common, and rarely discussed openly.
This is my honest story of dealing with expat loneliness, the specific triggers that cause it, and the practical steps I take daily to build connections and feel at home in Hungary.
The Unspoken Reality of Moving Abroad
There’s an unspoken pressure on social media to make expat life look thrilling and full of adventure. But behind picturesque city views and new culinary experiences lies a universal truth: building a brand-new life in a foreign country is hard.
Having previously lived and worked in Qatar, Greece, and Malta, I am no stranger to change. I embrace adaptation, but being far away from your original support system, your family, lifelong friends, and even familiar faces at the grocery store—can create an emotional void.
For me, expat loneliness often manifests as:
- Long stretches of silence throughout the workday.
- Social media fatigue, where scrolling makes me feel more disconnected from back home.
- A lack of immediate connection when I want to share daily wins or struggles.
Recognising that this emotional transition is a natural phase of living abroad is the first step toward overcoming it.
4 Main Triggers of Expat Isolation
Understanding why you feel isolated helps you address the root causes. Here are the four primary factors that contributed to my loneliness after moving to Hungary:
🗣️ Language Barriers
Not understanding local conversations, slang, or jokes makes it easy to feel like an outsider. Even during family gatherings with my Hungarian husband’s relatives, sitting in a room without fully understanding what is being said can feel isolating.
🏠 Remote Work Isolation
Working from home offers great flexibility, but remote work as an expat eliminates spontaneous social interaction. Virtual meetings are great, but they cannot replace genuine, in-person human connection.
👪 Distance from Family and Support Systems
Being far from family and friends often triggers a feeling of unbelonging—feeling like you don’t fully fit in your new country, yet growing distant from your old life. Building deep friendships in adulthood takes time, especially when managing family responsibilities.
🎉 Navigating Cultural Nuances
While Balkan and Hungarian cultures share similarities, adapting to new social rhythms takes effort. Moving abroad makes you acutely aware of how difficult it is to build “family-like” friendships from scratch, especially as an adult.
Coping with expat loneliness: 5 Practical Steps
While adjusting takes time, actively building a routine can help you regain control and feel connected. Here are five strategies helping me cope with feeling lonely as a foreigner:
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
Admitting that you feel lonely isn’t a sign of failure. Accepting your emotions gives you permission to proactively do something about them—whether that means focusing on personal growth, hobbies, or mental well-being.
2. Anchor Your Day with Structure
Creating a structured daily routine prevents days from blurring together. Set achievable goals like studying Hungarian, going for a bike ride in nature, spending time at the park with the kids, or writing for your blog.
3. Take Small Steps Toward Connection
Join local expat groups, enroll in courses, or participate in online communities. Even if you haven’t found your “inner circle” yet, putting yourself in environments with like-minded people opens the door for future friendships.
4. Practice the Local Language Daily
Even small interactions—like greeting the néni (kindergarten teacher) or ordering coffee in Hungarian—build confidence and bridge the gap between being a visitor and feeling local.
5. Prioritise “Eye-to-Eye” Interactions
If you work remotely, break up your day by working from a local coffee shop, joining a coworking space, or scheduling regular outdoor activities.
Give yourself time in coping with expat loneliness
Overcoming expat loneliness doesn’t happen overnight. Belonging is built gradually through small, daily efforts.
If you are struggling with feeling isolated after moving abroad, remember: you are not alone in feeling this way, and it does not mean moving was a mistake. Be patient with yourself, celebrate tiny wins, and trust the process.
Adapting to living in Budapest takes time, especially when trying to build a new social circle. Read more about my life abroad on Szia Soul.