When we moved to Hungary, one of the biggest questions I had as a parent was how our children would learn Hungarian. Hungarian isn’t an easy language, and because English has always been the main language in our home, neither of our children arrived with much Hungarian. What has surprised me most is how differently the experience has unfolded for each of them.
My son started Hungarian kindergarten at five and a half, while my daughter started at three. They entered similar Hungarian-speaking environments, but their journeys have been completely different. My son gradually built his vocabulary and understanding but still finds communicating in Hungarian difficult. My daughter struggled socially at first, yet after about a year, something seemed to click. She began understanding, speaking, and, most importantly, actually wanting to communicate in Hungarian.
Watching both of them has taught me a lot about how kids learn Hungarian, what immersion can and cannot do, and what I now wish we had done differently at home.
Our Language Situation Before Moving to Hungary
English has always been the main language we use as a family. My husband is Hungarian, I am Macedonian, and English became the natural common language in our home. My son already spoke English and some Macedonian before we moved to Hungary. Although my husband speaks Hungarian, we weren’t using Hungarian extensively at home, so our son knew only a few Hungarian words when he entered kindergarten.
At the time, I wasn’t particularly worried. Children are constantly described as language sponges, and I assumed that being surrounded by Hungarian every day would eventually be enough. It turned out to be more complicated than that.
My Son Started Hungarian Kindergarten at Five and a Half
My son was five and a half when he entered Hungarian kindergarten, and he spent approximately a year and a half there before starting first grade. He did learn Hungarian during that time. He picked up many words, began understanding more of what was happening around him and learned some sentences. However, he didn’t reach the point where he could comfortably communicate in Hungarian.
One factor that I think had a significant influence was friendship. There was another child in his kindergarten who spoke English. Naturally, my son gravitated towards him. Imagine arriving somewhere at five years old where almost everyone speaks a language you don’t understand and suddenly finding another child who speaks your language. Of course you’re going to stay close to that person. It probably made kindergarten easier for him emotionally, but it also gave him a way to avoid using Hungarian.
When His Teachers Told Us He Was Becoming Passive
At one point, his teachers told us that he had become very passive. He was relying heavily on his English-speaking friend rather than independently participating and communicating in Hungarian. Instead of being forced by circumstances to find a way to express himself in Hungarian, he had someone beside him who could help him navigate the environment in English.
This is something I didn’t fully appreciate before experiencing it myself. Having another child who speaks your child’s language can be enormously comforting, especially during the difficult first months. But in our case, I think that comfort also reduced some of the pressure to use Hungarian.
That doesn’t mean I would deliberately separate children from an English-speaking friend. Friendship and emotional security matter too. But if I were going through the same experience again, I would pay more attention to whether my child was becoming dependent on English rather than gradually participating more in Hungarian.
Summers in Malta Also Interrupted the Immersion
There was another factor in my son’s experience. He spends the summer with his father in Malta, where his language environment switches back to English and Macedonian. That means that after spending the school year surrounded by Hungarian, he then has a long period when Hungarian isn’t the language he needs for everyday communication. I think consistency matters more than I initially realised.
This doesn’t mean he forgets everything he has learned. He still knows many Hungarian words, understands some of what is being said and can form some sentences. But he hasn’t yet reached the stage where Hungarian communication feels completely natural to him. Now he has started first grade at a bilingual school, and I am very curious to see what happens next. I hope that the structure of school, continued exposure, and his growing vocabulary will help him make the breakthrough he hasn’t quite reached yet.
His Hungarian-learning story is very much still in progress.
My Daughter’s Experience Was Completely Different
My daughter entered Hungarian kindergarten when she was three years old. She understood nothing in Hungarian. The beginning wasn’t easy for her. She was shy, and I could see that she was missing the ability to connect with the other children. She wanted friendships, but when you don’t understand what the children around you are saying and can’t easily tell them what you want, bonding is much harder.
Unlike her brother, however, she didn’t have an English-speaking child in the class whom she could rely on. Hungarian was simply the language around her. For quite a while, she absorbed it. Then gradually we started seeing the results.
After About a Year, Something Clicked
After roughly a year in Hungarian kindergarten, the change in my daughter became very noticeable. She understands so much more now. She speaks Hungarian, and perhaps the thing that makes me happiest is that she wants to communicate in Hungarian. She has also started speaking Hungarian more with her grandparents.
For me, that willingness is a huge milestone. Knowing vocabulary is one thing. Understanding instructions is another. But voluntarily choosing to use the language to connect with another person feels like a different stage altogether. Seeing her now is especially rewarding because I remember how difficult those first months were when she couldn’t properly communicate with the children around her. Today she is doing amazingly well.
Why Did My Children Learn Hungarian So Differently?
Watching my two children has made me very cautious about statements like, “Don’t worry, children will just pick up the language.” Yes, children can learn incredibly quickly. But simply putting two children into a Hungarian kindergarten doesn’t necessarily produce the same result.
Age may have played a role. My daughter entered at three, while my son was already five and a half. Their social situations were different too. My son had an English-speaking friend he could rely on; my daughter didn’t. Their exposure outside kindergarten has also varied. My son’s summers take him back into an English- and Macedonian-speaking environment, whereas my daughter has had more continuous exposure to Hungarian and has increasingly started using it with her Hungarian grandparents. Their personalities are different too.
I don’t think there is one simple explanation. What our experience has shown me is that language learning is not only about how many hours a child spends inside a Hungarian kindergarten. The child’s age, friendships, confidence, home language and opportunities to actually need Hungarian can all influence the process.
How We Help Our Kids Learn Hungarian at Home
English is still our main family language, so we haven’t suddenly transformed our household into a Hungarian-only environment. Instead, we have tried to introduce more Hungarian naturally. One of the simplest things we have done is learn vocabulary by topic.
Instead of trying to “study Hungarian” in a broad sense, we can focus on groups of words children can understand visually: animals, food, clothes, colours, household objects or things they encounter during their day. We also bought an electronic learning device that uses picture cards, Kinder Speech. You insert a card showing an object or image, and the machine says the Hungarian word aloud. For children, this feels much more like playing than sitting down for a language lesson.
Hungarian Songs Have Helped Too
Songs have been another easy way of bringing more Hungarian into our home. Children hear the same words and phrases repeatedly without having to consciously memorise them. The rhythm and repetition make words easier to remember, and songs don’t carry the same pressure as asking a child to sit down and learn vocabulary.
We haven’t relied heavily on Hungarian television or cartoons. Songs have played a much bigger role for us. This is also something families can start before moving to Hungary. Even if a child doesn’t understand the lyrics initially, becoming familiar with the sounds and rhythm of Hungarian is still exposure to the language.
Hungarian Bedtime Stories Are Now Part of Our Routine
My husband still speaks mainly English with us during everyday family life, but he now reads Hungarian stories to the children at night. I think this kind of exposure is particularly valuable because it happens naturally. It isn’t, “Now we’re going to have a Hungarian lesson.” It’s simply bedtime, and the story happens to be in Hungarian.
Even when children don’t understand every word, they hear sentence structures, pronunciation and familiar vocabulary in context. They can also follow the pictures and the story itself. Looking back, this is something I wish we had done much more of before moving.
Hungarian Grandparents Can Make the Language Meaningful
My daughter’s growing relationship with Hungarian has also changed how she communicates with her grandparents. She has started speaking more Hungarian with them, and I think this is particularly important because the language suddenly has a purpose beyond kindergarten.
She isn’t practising Hungarian because someone has told her to practise. She’s using Hungarian to communicate with people she loves. That is something I would encourage whenever possible. If your child has Hungarian grandparents, relatives, neighbours or friends, those relationships can provide opportunities to use the language in a completely different context from school.
What I Would Do Differently
If I could go back to the period before we moved to Hungary, the biggest thing I would change is simple:
I would use much more Hungarian at home.
Because English worked perfectly well for us as a family, it was easy to continue using it. My husband and I communicated in English, the children communicated in English, and Hungarian wasn’t necessary. Then suddenly they entered an environment where it was necessary.
Knowing what I know now, I would have introduced Hungarian much earlier and more consistently, not necessarily by forcing formal lessons, but through ordinary family life. More Hungarian bedtime stories. More songs. More vocabulary games. More conversations with grandparents. More Hungarian words attached to everyday routines. Even something as simple as naming food while preparing dinner or talking about clothes while getting dressed creates repeated exposure.
Should You Speak Only Hungarian at Home?
Based on our experience, I don’t think families need to suddenly abandon their existing family language. English remains our main language, and Macedonian is also part of my son’s language environment. Those languages are part of our children’s lives too.
For us, the goal isn’t to replace one language with another. It’s to create more space for Hungarian. If one parent already speaks Hungarian, I would take advantage of that much earlier than we did. Stories, games, songs and simple conversations can gradually make Hungarian feel familiar before a child ever walks into a Hungarian kindergarten or school.
Don’t Panic If Your Child Doesn’t Speak Hungarian Immediately
This is probably one of the things I would most want another foreign parent to know. My daughter’s beginning was difficult. She couldn’t understand the other children, she was shy, and forming friendships was harder because she couldn’t communicate. A year later, I am watching the same child understand Hungarian, speak it and actively try to communicate with people in Hungarian.
My son’s path has been slower and more complicated, and that’s okay too. He has learned a lot, but he still needs to improve his communication. First grade is now another chapter in that process. Children don’t necessarily follow the same timetable. One may suddenly start speaking after months of quietly absorbing everything. Another may collect hundreds of words but hesitate to use them. Another may rely heavily on English whenever it is available. Progress doesn’t always look like fluent conversation.
What Helped Our Children Most?
From our experience so far, the things I consider most useful have been regular immersion, Hungarian-speaking relationships, songs, stories and learning vocabulary through play. But I would add one more thing: children need opportunities where Hungarian actually has a purpose.
My daughter wanting to speak Hungarian with her grandparents is different from memorising a list of Hungarian words. My son navigating school without always being able to rely on an English-speaking friend creates a different reason to use the language. That real communication is what I now want to encourage more.
Our Hungarian-Learning Journey Isn’t Finished
I’m writing this while my son is beginning first grade, so I don’t want to present our experience as a finished success story with a perfect formula at the end. We are still learning what works.
My daughter has made a breakthrough that I couldn’t have imagined during those first difficult months of kindergarten. My son has developed his vocabulary and comprehension, but we are still waiting for the point when he becomes confident communicating in Hungarian. I’m particularly interested to see what happens during his first year of school.
I’ll update this article as their Hungarian develops because I think the reality of children learning a new language is much more useful than pretending every child becomes fluent after six months of immersion.
If you are moving to Hungary with children who don’t speak Hungarian, my biggest advice from our experience so far would be to start bringing Hungarian into your home as early as possible. Use songs, stories, games and everyday conversations. Let children hear the language without turning every interaction into a lesson, and give them opportunities to use Hungarian with real people. And if the beginning is difficult, remember that what you see during the first few months may look completely different a year later.